I don't know why Sis. Sherri Long from Calgary, Alberta Canada had to die today.
This lady...who I never met...was by all accounts an amazing woman of God. A teacher, prayer warrior, mother, wife, given to hospitality, loving, gracious, others-minded, and kind.
She fell ill with what she thought was the flu on Monday and passed away today.
Wednesday.
The miracle of internet communication and an Instagram account informed me of this progression.
I prayed for her. I was very burdened. I asked God to raise her up...to restore her health. I questioned that her work here was finished...with so many lives touched by people in both Canada and the United States HOW could it be possible that her time here should end?
Yet today the short message came:
"Sherri gone."
And I am left saying "I don't know..."
I don't know why our dear Crystal Stephen was taken from us. We were robbed of her godly influence as, for several years, cancer ate slowly through every defense that was offered.
In the end it took the life of a lady that has never been replaced in works, character, creativity or sensitivity.
I don't know why young father of 5, husband, attorney, and friend Michael English was ripped from this life in a tragic boating accident.
He left his wife, 4 sons and a months-old daughter.
In many ways none of us have fully recovered from his loss. There is still a gaping hole in the fabric of our faith community.
On a lesser scale of impact I don't know why dear people I love have lost everything in this recent recession.
Homes gone to foreclosure.
Jobs sacrificed to cut-backs and downsizing companies.
Friend's businesses closing their doors.
Credit lost to bankruptcies.
Vehicles repossessed.
Furniture and treasures sold to keep surviving.
These are good people.
Faithful people.
They pay their bills.
They are not deadbeat citizens always looking for an easy way out, a charitable service, or governmental freebie.
I don't know why I am watching single moms struggle to feed their children.
I don't know why I am watching elders on fixed incomes slowly scale back...and back...and back again...in order to make their money last through the month.
I don't know why food, gasoline, rents, household products and clothing prices have risen dramatically the last few years.
We have less to spend.
Yet prices are rising at an unprecedented rate.
I don't know why we are seeing increased cancer, disease, genetic anomalies, heart disease, and diabetes.
The strength and wisdom of the medical community is at an all-time high. We have never before had the knowledge, research facilities, medicines, procedures, sanitation...pure ability...to treat and prevent sickness. Yet we are seeing more debilitating disease and death than it seems we should.
I am opening myself up to criticism here. I know that. It's nothing new.
A lot of folks would be glad to tell me "why" some of these things are happening.
And when they are done we still will not TRULY know.
It's frustrating.
So I intend to focus on what I DO know.
I DO know this...
GOD IS IN CONTROL.
GOD KNOWS MORE THAN I KNOW.
AND GOD LOVES ME. (And you!!!)
(Thank you, Rev. Tim Bollmann)
And I will be peaceful KNOWING that I don't have to explain any of these things.
I will offer what comfort I can.
I will be a listening ear and a helping hand.
I will be cheerful and thankful and do all I can to grow my faith and build the faith of others.
I will offer praise to the God who DOES know, and I will do my best to walk carefully and circumspectly before Him.
I will be careful to not charge God foolishly...and like Job I will do my best to say:
"The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord!"
Because who am I to demand explanations from the Creator of all things?
The things I don't know will always nag at my human-ness.
But what I DO KNOW will always rise above the nagging voice of doubt to freely declare:
"...nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day."
2 Timothy 1:12 KJV
And that's all I need to know.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
And on that same note...
***Warning*** This post is VERY OPINIONATED. I don't apologize for my stance...but maybe just a little for how firmly I state it. Be forewarned.
I also want to preface this post by saying that every person who has an abundance of disposable stuff does not harbor a deep-seated disrespect for human life and relationships.
I know this.
What I am protesting is the DISPOSABLE MINDSET.
So...here goes.
Buckle up and hang on.
*******
I am appalled at the huge amount of waste I see around me.
Food.
Clothing.
Gadgets.
Toys.
Paper.
Packaging.
I am truly disgusted.
Our society holds very little regard for things.
The paradox is that we are the most materialistic, overloaded people ever, drowning in piles and piles of plastic, synthetic stuff.
We are never satisfied. That new item we HAD to have is outdated in a month.
I was given this cherished iPhone 4 last March.
By September I was asked if I wanted the new 4S out in October.
What a GENEROUS OFFER!!
But, no.
Really!
I love my phone. I am thankful for my phone. I don't know what I would DO without my phone.
But it's only 7 months old. I really DON'T NEED ANOTHER ONE...even if it's cool and has new features.
We throw away mountains of stuff.
Packaging.
Plastic bags.
Toss away...throw away EVERYTHING.
Disposable plates. Napkins. Cups. Even flatware.
I know a family who eats EVERY MEAL on disposables because they don't like to wash dishes.
I cannot imagine this.
What about loving your family by taking the time to set the table?
With a tablecloth.
And real, metal flatware.
And napkins.
But I digress. You see...
It isn't only the money spent on things we throw away that bothers me.
It isn't even the burgeoning landfills.
It is the DISPOSABLE MINDSET.
If our belongings are not worth valuing then what is?
Are relationships? The divorce rate and amount of completely dysfunctional families would indicate no.
What about human life? The number of babies lost to abortion and thousands of elderly dying alone in nursing facilities say no.
How about personal integrity?
Financial integrity?
Pride in appearance and deportment?
Discretion in conversation?
Plain old-fashioned courtesy and good manners?
For the most part no, no, no, no, and no.
I know it seems a little farfetched, comparing abortion and plastic baggies.
What I see is the mindset "If I throw this away I can just get another one."
Whether it's a baby, a husband or another trendy $5 toy from Wal-Mart.
"When I get tired of this one I'll find a new one I like better."
"If this inconveniences me I'll just get rid of it."
"Oh, man...that one broke. Oh, well. It was only $5."
It seems that little is valued in our society.
I contrast this to my grandmother's generation. The generation of "waste not-want not" and "use it up".
They had less than we do. Much less.
Fewer belongings.
Fewer clothes, dishes, toys...stuff.
My grandparents were not centered around THINGS.
They valued people.
Popcorn, hot chocolate and a board game.
The ball game on the radio.
A phone conversation with a distant loved one.
They HAD things. They ENJOYED things. But their THINGS were respected and KEPT IN THEIR PROPER PLACE.
It is so sad to see moms screaming at their kids for accidentally soiling their clothes or spilling a drink.
PEOPLE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THINGS.
Grandma's gifts were often homemade. You knew she thought about you...PLANNED to bless you.
YOU!
And I know that grandma thought modern innovations were great.
Vacuum cleaners and dishwashers and microwaves are awesome.
But even though she had these things and enjoyed them, she did not live long enough to become infected with the disease that is epidemic in our society...
"Give me more NOW! I DESERVE it...even though I didn't earn it and probably won't value it."
She worked hard for what she had a took care of what she acquired.
She respected her possessions AND her relationships and we, her family, did too.
I have a bowl that is 72 years old. My grandma got it for her wedding. It is old and has a chip on one side. But I love it because it represents all I have said so far in this (very opinionated) post.
It has endured...and I value it.
My girls all want it, and someday it will pass to another generation who will treasure it.
Yes. It is JUST A BOWL.
But it represents a whole different mindset.
One I am determined to embrace.
Frugality.
Valuing people and possessions.
Owning less and taking better care of it.
Purchasing things for their value and durability, not for their trendiness or because they are cheap.
Why buy 20 $1 items you don't need just because they are $1?
So...
My goal this year is to own less.
Use as few disposables as I can.
Break from modern thinking and learn to value and appreciate what I already have instead of constantly lusting for MORE STUFF.
Purge my current possessions of cheap, disposable things and carefully consider every future purchase, making sure to buy things of superior quality that I (truly) need.
Not to buy things I DON'T need just because someone else has them.
And to, in my little corner of the world, teach by precept and example a respect for relationships, people, and possessions.
To live a life of abundance with less.
And to have more than I ever thought it was possible to have when I was wallowing in oceans of stuff.
Here's to TRUE progress...clean, tidy spaces.
A few well-chosen possessions.
Good food.
Family and friends and the time to enjoy them.
And the peace that comes from keeping everything...from plates and cups to my marriage...in the best condition I possibly can.
Here's to love, hard work, attention, and time...all lavished on what means most to me:
My home and my family.
We all leave a legacy.
I want mine to be an intentional life, well-lived...one that reflects a proper respect for things and a true understanding of the value of people.
It's time for a change in our world, our society, our thoughts...and the only person I can change is me.
I also want to preface this post by saying that every person who has an abundance of disposable stuff does not harbor a deep-seated disrespect for human life and relationships.
I know this.
What I am protesting is the DISPOSABLE MINDSET.
So...here goes.
Buckle up and hang on.
*******
I am appalled at the huge amount of waste I see around me.
Food.
Clothing.
Gadgets.
Toys.
Paper.
Packaging.
I am truly disgusted.
Our society holds very little regard for things.
The paradox is that we are the most materialistic, overloaded people ever, drowning in piles and piles of plastic, synthetic stuff.
We are never satisfied. That new item we HAD to have is outdated in a month.
I was given this cherished iPhone 4 last March.
By September I was asked if I wanted the new 4S out in October.
What a GENEROUS OFFER!!
But, no.
Really!
I love my phone. I am thankful for my phone. I don't know what I would DO without my phone.
But it's only 7 months old. I really DON'T NEED ANOTHER ONE...even if it's cool and has new features.
We throw away mountains of stuff.
Packaging.
Plastic bags.
Toss away...throw away EVERYTHING.
Disposable plates. Napkins. Cups. Even flatware.
I know a family who eats EVERY MEAL on disposables because they don't like to wash dishes.
I cannot imagine this.
What about loving your family by taking the time to set the table?
With a tablecloth.
And real, metal flatware.
And napkins.
But I digress. You see...
It isn't only the money spent on things we throw away that bothers me.
It isn't even the burgeoning landfills.
It is the DISPOSABLE MINDSET.
If our belongings are not worth valuing then what is?
Are relationships? The divorce rate and amount of completely dysfunctional families would indicate no.
What about human life? The number of babies lost to abortion and thousands of elderly dying alone in nursing facilities say no.
How about personal integrity?
Financial integrity?
Pride in appearance and deportment?
Discretion in conversation?
Plain old-fashioned courtesy and good manners?
For the most part no, no, no, no, and no.
I know it seems a little farfetched, comparing abortion and plastic baggies.
What I see is the mindset "If I throw this away I can just get another one."
Whether it's a baby, a husband or another trendy $5 toy from Wal-Mart.
"When I get tired of this one I'll find a new one I like better."
"If this inconveniences me I'll just get rid of it."
"Oh, man...that one broke. Oh, well. It was only $5."
It seems that little is valued in our society.
I contrast this to my grandmother's generation. The generation of "waste not-want not" and "use it up".
They had less than we do. Much less.
Fewer belongings.
Fewer clothes, dishes, toys...stuff.
My grandparents were not centered around THINGS.
They valued people.
Popcorn, hot chocolate and a board game.
The ball game on the radio.
A phone conversation with a distant loved one.
They HAD things. They ENJOYED things. But their THINGS were respected and KEPT IN THEIR PROPER PLACE.
It is so sad to see moms screaming at their kids for accidentally soiling their clothes or spilling a drink.
PEOPLE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THINGS.
Grandma's gifts were often homemade. You knew she thought about you...PLANNED to bless you.
YOU!
And I know that grandma thought modern innovations were great.
Vacuum cleaners and dishwashers and microwaves are awesome.
But even though she had these things and enjoyed them, she did not live long enough to become infected with the disease that is epidemic in our society...
"Give me more NOW! I DESERVE it...even though I didn't earn it and probably won't value it."
She worked hard for what she had a took care of what she acquired.
She respected her possessions AND her relationships and we, her family, did too.
I have a bowl that is 72 years old. My grandma got it for her wedding. It is old and has a chip on one side. But I love it because it represents all I have said so far in this (very opinionated) post.
It has endured...and I value it.
My girls all want it, and someday it will pass to another generation who will treasure it.
Yes. It is JUST A BOWL.
But it represents a whole different mindset.
One I am determined to embrace.
Frugality.
Valuing people and possessions.
Owning less and taking better care of it.
Purchasing things for their value and durability, not for their trendiness or because they are cheap.
Why buy 20 $1 items you don't need just because they are $1?
So...
My goal this year is to own less.
Use as few disposables as I can.
Break from modern thinking and learn to value and appreciate what I already have instead of constantly lusting for MORE STUFF.
Purge my current possessions of cheap, disposable things and carefully consider every future purchase, making sure to buy things of superior quality that I (truly) need.
Not to buy things I DON'T need just because someone else has them.
And to, in my little corner of the world, teach by precept and example a respect for relationships, people, and possessions.
To live a life of abundance with less.
And to have more than I ever thought it was possible to have when I was wallowing in oceans of stuff.
Here's to TRUE progress...clean, tidy spaces.
A few well-chosen possessions.
Good food.
Family and friends and the time to enjoy them.
And the peace that comes from keeping everything...from plates and cups to my marriage...in the best condition I possibly can.
Here's to love, hard work, attention, and time...all lavished on what means most to me:
My home and my family.
We all leave a legacy.
I want mine to be an intentional life, well-lived...one that reflects a proper respect for things and a true understanding of the value of people.
It's time for a change in our world, our society, our thoughts...and the only person I can change is me.
How Much is Too Much
Lately I have been purging our belongings.
Really.
Like A LOT.
I have given away two-thirds of my clothing.
Half of my shoes.
Lots and lots of books.
Three-quarters of my children's toys.
And housewares.
Don't even get me started.
Coffee mugs...mismatched plates...chipped bowls. Skillets. Tea towels. Lid-less Tupperware.
Appliances.
Oy.
Whoever thought I would need half of the electric gizmos I have? A special donut maker? Really? Quesadilla maker? Even an electric can opener.
Ummm...no.
I'm good, thanks.
Give me my crockpot and my Kitchen-Aid mixer. I am completely happy.
I don't own my possessions.
They own me.
They dictate to me...
"Now you will wash me."
"Now you will store me."
"Now you will maintain me."
"Now you will worry about me."
I'm really, really, REALLY tired of my things owning my time...my attention...my money.
It is true that less is more.
Fewer things - fewer worries.
Less stress. Less work.
More time to spend on other pursuits.
It's a really good feeling...this purging of stuff.
There is a freedom that comes with empty shelves...empty drawers...empty hangers.
I wonder where we got the idea that we need all we have? That more was better? That it was "convenient" to have a bunch of plastic plates (that melt in the microwave and retain odors) than 8 good quality, durable pieces of dinnerware.
I have always enjoyed moving. It always seems like we have so much less stuff when we first move in...BEFORE all the boxes are unpacked.
Soon, however, the lovely open spaces begin to fill up with...things.
And I begin the mad shuffle dance...put-it-here-put-it-there-no-it's-better-over-there-oh-who-cares-shove-it-ANYWHERE.
No more.
I refuse to hang onto every magazine I have ever purchased. The ideas are old and outdated anyway.
And now I have Pinterest...all the ideas I need and more!!! And nothing to shuffle!
I refuse to keep every article of clothing I have obtained.
I don't care what brand it is or how much it cost. If it doesn't fit, or if I don't feel good wearing it...out it goes.
Same with shoes. I don't care how cute they are. If they hurt my feet they're outta here.
I am 45 years old. I have earned the right to my matronly comfort. If I don't want to wear 4 inch vanity heels anymore I DON'T HAVE TO!
Whew.
That felt good.
Now...I know this next part will shock you, but in 26 years of marriage we have never purchased new furniture. (Not counting baby cribs.) We have a loving mishmash of second-hand furniture.
I am thankful.
I am not complaining.
I do not intend to buy furniture. What we have is lovely.
But we have too much. Out it goes.
My children's toys. Too much plastic stuff. Olivia is almost 12. She doesn't play with toys often.
And Julia? It's kinda funny, but she gravitates to the old, vintage toys we have.
The Fisher-Price little people. You know...the ones that run on IMAGINATION -not batteries.
The Chatty Phone (Though I don't think she's ever seen a phone with a receiver. And a cord. And a rotary dial. She knows exactly how to play with it!)
And the dolls.
And books. Like Dick and Jane.
I think she likes the realistic pictures that make sense...
"Look...there is a daddy washing the car. There is a mommy ironing. There is a boy playing with his dog. There are Sally and Puff."
These are the things I am keeping.
Blocks. Puzzles. Books. Interactive toys that require more than pushing a button.
Out with the plastic Dora.
Out with push-button Barney books.
(Ummmm...where did we get a push-button Barney book anyway? I am mystified.)
You see...
I want to sew and garden and cook and bake. I want to play with my girls and my grandson. I want to read and paint and write and create.
I want my girls to use the amazing imaginations they have. I don't want their play to be a regurgitation of someone else's preconceived script.
(Which is yet another reason we don't watch TV or movies...but that's another post.)
I have too much life to live and not enough time to live it.
And I'm tired of juggling my stuff.
I have way, way, WAY better things to do.
Really.
Like A LOT.
I have given away two-thirds of my clothing.
Half of my shoes.
Lots and lots of books.
Three-quarters of my children's toys.
And housewares.
Don't even get me started.
Coffee mugs...mismatched plates...chipped bowls. Skillets. Tea towels. Lid-less Tupperware.
Appliances.
Oy.
Whoever thought I would need half of the electric gizmos I have? A special donut maker? Really? Quesadilla maker? Even an electric can opener.
Ummm...no.
I'm good, thanks.
Give me my crockpot and my Kitchen-Aid mixer. I am completely happy.
I don't own my possessions.
They own me.
They dictate to me...
"Now you will wash me."
"Now you will store me."
"Now you will maintain me."
"Now you will worry about me."
I'm really, really, REALLY tired of my things owning my time...my attention...my money.
It is true that less is more.
Fewer things - fewer worries.
Less stress. Less work.
More time to spend on other pursuits.
It's a really good feeling...this purging of stuff.
There is a freedom that comes with empty shelves...empty drawers...empty hangers.
I wonder where we got the idea that we need all we have? That more was better? That it was "convenient" to have a bunch of plastic plates (that melt in the microwave and retain odors) than 8 good quality, durable pieces of dinnerware.
I have always enjoyed moving. It always seems like we have so much less stuff when we first move in...BEFORE all the boxes are unpacked.
Soon, however, the lovely open spaces begin to fill up with...things.
And I begin the mad shuffle dance...put-it-here-put-it-there-no-it's-better-over-there-oh-who-cares-shove-it-ANYWHERE.
No more.
I refuse to hang onto every magazine I have ever purchased. The ideas are old and outdated anyway.
And now I have Pinterest...all the ideas I need and more!!! And nothing to shuffle!
I refuse to keep every article of clothing I have obtained.
I don't care what brand it is or how much it cost. If it doesn't fit, or if I don't feel good wearing it...out it goes.
Same with shoes. I don't care how cute they are. If they hurt my feet they're outta here.
I am 45 years old. I have earned the right to my matronly comfort. If I don't want to wear 4 inch vanity heels anymore I DON'T HAVE TO!
Whew.
That felt good.
Now...I know this next part will shock you, but in 26 years of marriage we have never purchased new furniture. (Not counting baby cribs.) We have a loving mishmash of second-hand furniture.
I am thankful.
I am not complaining.
I do not intend to buy furniture. What we have is lovely.
But we have too much. Out it goes.
My children's toys. Too much plastic stuff. Olivia is almost 12. She doesn't play with toys often.
And Julia? It's kinda funny, but she gravitates to the old, vintage toys we have.
The Fisher-Price little people. You know...the ones that run on IMAGINATION -not batteries.
The Chatty Phone (Though I don't think she's ever seen a phone with a receiver. And a cord. And a rotary dial. She knows exactly how to play with it!)
And the dolls.
And books. Like Dick and Jane.
I think she likes the realistic pictures that make sense...
"Look...there is a daddy washing the car. There is a mommy ironing. There is a boy playing with his dog. There are Sally and Puff."
These are the things I am keeping.
Blocks. Puzzles. Books. Interactive toys that require more than pushing a button.
Out with the plastic Dora.
Out with push-button Barney books.
(Ummmm...where did we get a push-button Barney book anyway? I am mystified.)
You see...
I want to sew and garden and cook and bake. I want to play with my girls and my grandson. I want to read and paint and write and create.
I want my girls to use the amazing imaginations they have. I don't want their play to be a regurgitation of someone else's preconceived script.
(Which is yet another reason we don't watch TV or movies...but that's another post.)
I have too much life to live and not enough time to live it.
And I'm tired of juggling my stuff.
I have way, way, WAY better things to do.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Worth it to Me
I woke up this morning with this post rolling around in my head. It was playing nine-pins with the thundering headache I've had for the last two days.
All my life I've been told:
"Nothing in life is free."
"Everything costs something."
This is true. It is an indisputable fact.
Even when items are given to you and no money exchanges hands those things still cost something.
They cost to transport.
Store.
Maintain.
They cost time.
Concern.
Thought.
You spend effort...invest yourself...in every decision you make. Nothing is free. Everything costs something.
My point is this...
I have ONE life.
I have the same 24 hours a day, 365 days a year that everyone else has.
I have responsibilities to discharge. Duties to perform. LIFE to LIVE.
I have gifts to develop. Skills to hone. Talents to use.
And every decision costs me something.
So WHATEVER I'm investing in had BETTER BE WORTH IT.
Because you don't get another chance once your trips around the sun are completed.
For instance...
I will never get a chance to re-raise my children. THAT is a bittersweet truth, believe me. And coming from a mama who has 5 of her 7 children well-launched into adulthood it is sobering as well.
I can never go back and change any decision I've made concerning my kids. I can't go back and be more or less than I was at the moment of initial investment.
I am almost 46 years old. There are parts of my youth I will never recapture. There are opportunities lost that I can never reclaim. Doors slammed shut that will never crack open again in my lifetime.
The decisions that I have made along the way...the investments of time and energy...have shaped who I am and where I am going. They detail every memory and provide a catalog of my priorities.
Decisions.
Investments.
Everything costs something.
The books I've read. The classes I've taken. The subjects I've researched. The things I've spent my time on. They define me.
And the question is:
Is it worth it?
If I have ONE SHOT at this adventure called life...if I have ONE CHANCE to raise each of my children...if I have ONE OPPORTUNITY to prepare for eternity...then how I'm investing my life had BETTER BE WORTH IT.
Many times I have heard the words "You push yourself too hard." or "You do too much." or "You expect too much out of yourself."
To this I say no.
No, I don't.
Because I have one life to GIVE and it's worth it to me.
It's worth the necessary effort to take good care of my family. To cook from scratch. To garden and raise chickens and milk goats and butcher pigs.
Because I have time and energy to invest in my family's health and well-being but not lots of money. I want them to eat as well as I can afford. Food that I KNOW was raised and fed and processed properly.
It's worth it to sew and craft and re-make and refinish and re-do in order to dress my family well and create a warm, cozy home for them.
It's worth it to me to get up early and stay up late making sure my home is tidy and my family is prepared to face each day. Because I have one chance EACH DAY to do my best.
It's worth it to me to have our whole family over...all 30 of us...and cook and clean and serve and prepare. To play games and laugh and share stories and time. Because on this earth your RELATIONSHIPS are what matter...not your THINGS.
It's worth it to me to forgo fancy vacations and expensive clothes and frequent meals out in order to be home with my family.
We've maintained our home and raised 7 children on one income for 26 years. I'm proud of that. We've had everything we needed and most of what we wanted that entire time. Including trips to Disneyland and summer camps, and lots of fun.
But I'm telling you...it's cost me something.
And it's cost David something.
And we both agree it's been worth the investment.
It's worth it to me to love...even when it breaks my heart.
And it's worth it to me to trust...even when I am betrayed.
And it's worth it to me to give...even when I'm taken advantage of.
Because if you don't LOVE and TRUST and GIVE you aren't really living.
It's worth it to me to pray even when it seems at times that God does not hear or answer.
It's worth it to me to believe in things I cannot see and do not understand.
Because I KNOW God is listening...even when the heavens seem brass. I have the answered prayers that prove He listens and answers.
And I KNOW the impossible things I have seen happen because of unwavering faith.
And I have EXPERIENCED the beauty of God revealing Himself to me many times.
We live 35 minutes from our chosen place of worship. Gasoline prices being what they are it doesn't fit into our budget to go home between morning and evening services.
So we go in on Sunday morning. I pack a picnic lunch. I gather blankets and pillows and crayons and books for the little girls. We pack extra clothes and toiletries.
And when morning service is over we find a quiet place and share our lunch. And read stories. And color. And nap.
Then we get up and prepare for evening service.
And it's worth it. Because I am investing in eternity for my kids. I am placing a priority on knowing Jesus and putting Him FIRST.
The kids love it. Sunday is their favorite day of the week. It's the day we have FUN AT CHURCH.
And it's worth it to me...this sacrifice of home-comforts on Sundays.
Because everything costs something.
And I'm investing.
It's worth it to me to fall into bed exhausted, with every cell screaming after having worked 10 or 12 or 16 hours on an event.
Because I have served.
And I have given.
And Jesus walked all the way to the top of Mount Calvary for me. In spite of the agony. He went all the way. It was what He came to do.
And while I know it isn't my responsibility to die for the sins of the world, I do take the responsibilities entrusted to me very seriously.
And it's worth every second I invest.
So the conclusion of this is...
(and please remember...anyone who happens across this online journal...I write to myself.)
...that everything costs something.
And what you pay had better be worth the price.
With one precious life to live I refuse to invest in vain pursuits.
Flimsy dreams.
Selfish desires.
I want...more than anything...to come to the end of my life and have Jesus say well-done.
Well done with your time.
Well done with your family.
Well done with your talents.
Well done with your finances.
Well done with your intellect.
Well done with your home and resources.
Well done with your loyalties.
Well done.
I'm trying very, very hard to hear those words.
And it's worth it to me.
All my life I've been told:
"Nothing in life is free."
"Everything costs something."
This is true. It is an indisputable fact.
Even when items are given to you and no money exchanges hands those things still cost something.
They cost to transport.
Store.
Maintain.
They cost time.
Concern.
Thought.
You spend effort...invest yourself...in every decision you make. Nothing is free. Everything costs something.
My point is this...
I have ONE life.
I have the same 24 hours a day, 365 days a year that everyone else has.
I have responsibilities to discharge. Duties to perform. LIFE to LIVE.
I have gifts to develop. Skills to hone. Talents to use.
And every decision costs me something.
So WHATEVER I'm investing in had BETTER BE WORTH IT.
Because you don't get another chance once your trips around the sun are completed.
For instance...
I will never get a chance to re-raise my children. THAT is a bittersweet truth, believe me. And coming from a mama who has 5 of her 7 children well-launched into adulthood it is sobering as well.
I can never go back and change any decision I've made concerning my kids. I can't go back and be more or less than I was at the moment of initial investment.
I am almost 46 years old. There are parts of my youth I will never recapture. There are opportunities lost that I can never reclaim. Doors slammed shut that will never crack open again in my lifetime.
The decisions that I have made along the way...the investments of time and energy...have shaped who I am and where I am going. They detail every memory and provide a catalog of my priorities.
Decisions.
Investments.
Everything costs something.
The books I've read. The classes I've taken. The subjects I've researched. The things I've spent my time on. They define me.
And the question is:
Is it worth it?
If I have ONE SHOT at this adventure called life...if I have ONE CHANCE to raise each of my children...if I have ONE OPPORTUNITY to prepare for eternity...then how I'm investing my life had BETTER BE WORTH IT.
Many times I have heard the words "You push yourself too hard." or "You do too much." or "You expect too much out of yourself."
To this I say no.
No, I don't.
Because I have one life to GIVE and it's worth it to me.
It's worth the necessary effort to take good care of my family. To cook from scratch. To garden and raise chickens and milk goats and butcher pigs.
Because I have time and energy to invest in my family's health and well-being but not lots of money. I want them to eat as well as I can afford. Food that I KNOW was raised and fed and processed properly.
It's worth it to sew and craft and re-make and refinish and re-do in order to dress my family well and create a warm, cozy home for them.
It's worth it to me to get up early and stay up late making sure my home is tidy and my family is prepared to face each day. Because I have one chance EACH DAY to do my best.
It's worth it to me to have our whole family over...all 30 of us...and cook and clean and serve and prepare. To play games and laugh and share stories and time. Because on this earth your RELATIONSHIPS are what matter...not your THINGS.
It's worth it to me to forgo fancy vacations and expensive clothes and frequent meals out in order to be home with my family.
We've maintained our home and raised 7 children on one income for 26 years. I'm proud of that. We've had everything we needed and most of what we wanted that entire time. Including trips to Disneyland and summer camps, and lots of fun.
But I'm telling you...it's cost me something.
And it's cost David something.
And we both agree it's been worth the investment.
It's worth it to me to love...even when it breaks my heart.
And it's worth it to me to trust...even when I am betrayed.
And it's worth it to me to give...even when I'm taken advantage of.
Because if you don't LOVE and TRUST and GIVE you aren't really living.
It's worth it to me to pray even when it seems at times that God does not hear or answer.
It's worth it to me to believe in things I cannot see and do not understand.
Because I KNOW God is listening...even when the heavens seem brass. I have the answered prayers that prove He listens and answers.
And I KNOW the impossible things I have seen happen because of unwavering faith.
And I have EXPERIENCED the beauty of God revealing Himself to me many times.
We live 35 minutes from our chosen place of worship. Gasoline prices being what they are it doesn't fit into our budget to go home between morning and evening services.
So we go in on Sunday morning. I pack a picnic lunch. I gather blankets and pillows and crayons and books for the little girls. We pack extra clothes and toiletries.
And when morning service is over we find a quiet place and share our lunch. And read stories. And color. And nap.
Then we get up and prepare for evening service.
And it's worth it. Because I am investing in eternity for my kids. I am placing a priority on knowing Jesus and putting Him FIRST.
The kids love it. Sunday is their favorite day of the week. It's the day we have FUN AT CHURCH.
And it's worth it to me...this sacrifice of home-comforts on Sundays.
Because everything costs something.
And I'm investing.
It's worth it to me to fall into bed exhausted, with every cell screaming after having worked 10 or 12 or 16 hours on an event.
Because I have served.
And I have given.
And Jesus walked all the way to the top of Mount Calvary for me. In spite of the agony. He went all the way. It was what He came to do.
And while I know it isn't my responsibility to die for the sins of the world, I do take the responsibilities entrusted to me very seriously.
And it's worth every second I invest.
So the conclusion of this is...
(and please remember...anyone who happens across this online journal...I write to myself.)
...that everything costs something.
And what you pay had better be worth the price.
With one precious life to live I refuse to invest in vain pursuits.
Flimsy dreams.
Selfish desires.
I want...more than anything...to come to the end of my life and have Jesus say well-done.
Well done with your time.
Well done with your family.
Well done with your talents.
Well done with your finances.
Well done with your intellect.
Well done with your home and resources.
Well done with your loyalties.
Well done.
I'm trying very, very hard to hear those words.
And it's worth it to me.
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