Worth it to Me

I woke up this morning with this post rolling around in my head. It was playing nine-pins with the thundering headache I've had for the last two days.

All my life I've been told:

"Nothing in life is free."

"Everything costs something."

This is true. It is an indisputable fact.

Even when items are given to you and no money exchanges hands those things still cost something.

They cost to transport.

Store.

Maintain.

They cost time.

Concern.

Thought.

You spend effort...invest yourself...in every decision you make. Nothing is free. Everything costs something.

My point is this...

I have ONE life.

I have the same 24 hours a day, 365 days a year that everyone else has.

I have responsibilities to discharge. Duties to perform. LIFE to LIVE.

I have gifts to develop. Skills to hone. Talents to use.

And every decision costs me something.

So WHATEVER I'm investing in had BETTER BE WORTH IT.

Because you don't get another chance once your trips around the sun are completed.

For instance...

I will never get a chance to re-raise my children. THAT is a bittersweet truth, believe me. And coming from a mama who has 5 of her 7 children well-launched into adulthood it is sobering as well.

I can never go back and change any decision I've made concerning my kids. I can't go back and be more or less than I was at the moment of initial investment.

I am almost 46 years old. There are parts of my youth I will never recapture. There are opportunities lost that I can never reclaim. Doors slammed shut that will never crack open again in my lifetime.

The decisions that I have made along the way...the investments of time and energy...have shaped who I am and where I am going. They detail every memory and provide a catalog of my priorities.

Decisions.

Investments.

Everything costs something.

The books I've read. The classes I've taken. The subjects I've researched. The things I've spent my time on. They define me.

And the question is:

Is it worth it?

If I have ONE SHOT at this adventure called life...if I have ONE CHANCE to raise each of my children...if I have ONE OPPORTUNITY to prepare for eternity...then how I'm investing my life had BETTER BE WORTH IT.

Many times I have heard the words "You push yourself too hard." or "You do too much." or "You expect too much out of yourself."

To this I say no.

No, I don't.

Because I have one life to GIVE and it's worth it to me.

It's worth the necessary effort to take good care of my family. To cook from scratch. To garden and raise chickens and milk goats and butcher pigs.

Because I have time and energy to invest in my family's health and well-being but not lots of money. I want them to eat as well as I can afford. Food that I KNOW was raised and fed and processed properly.

It's worth it to sew and craft and re-make and refinish and re-do in order to dress my family well and create a warm, cozy home for them.

It's worth it to me to get up early and stay up late making sure my home is tidy and my family is prepared to face each day. Because I have one chance EACH DAY to do my best.

It's worth it to me to have our whole family over...all 30 of us...and cook and clean and serve and prepare. To play games and laugh and share stories and time. Because on this earth your RELATIONSHIPS are what matter...not your THINGS.

It's worth it to me to forgo fancy vacations and expensive clothes and frequent meals out in order to be home with my family.

We've maintained our home and raised 7 children on one income for 26 years. I'm proud of that. We've had everything we needed and most of what we wanted that entire time. Including trips to Disneyland and summer camps, and lots of fun.

But I'm telling you...it's cost me something.

And it's cost David something.

And we both agree it's been worth the investment.




It's worth it to me to love...even when it breaks my heart.

And it's worth it to me to trust...even when I am betrayed.

And it's worth it to me to give...even when I'm taken advantage of.

Because if you don't LOVE and TRUST and GIVE you aren't really living.




It's worth it to me to pray even when it seems at times that God does not hear or answer.

It's worth it to me to believe in things I cannot see and do not understand.

Because I KNOW God is listening...even when the heavens seem brass. I have the answered prayers that prove He listens and answers.

And I KNOW the impossible things I have seen happen because of unwavering faith.

And I have EXPERIENCED the beauty of God revealing Himself to me many times.

We live 35 minutes from our chosen place of worship. Gasoline prices being what they are it doesn't fit into our budget to go home between morning and evening services.

So we go in on Sunday morning. I pack a picnic lunch. I gather blankets and pillows and crayons and books for the little girls. We pack extra clothes and toiletries.

And when morning service is over we find a quiet place and share our lunch. And read stories. And color. And nap.

Then we get up and prepare for evening service.

And it's worth it. Because I am investing in eternity for my kids. I am placing a priority on knowing Jesus and putting Him FIRST.

The kids love it. Sunday is their favorite day of the week. It's the day we have FUN AT CHURCH.

And it's worth it to me...this sacrifice of home-comforts on Sundays.

Because everything costs something.

And I'm investing.




It's worth it to me to fall into bed exhausted, with every cell screaming after having worked 10 or 12 or 16 hours on an event.

Because I have served.

And I have given.

And Jesus walked all the way to the top of Mount Calvary for me. In spite of the agony. He went all the way. It was what He came to do.

And while I know it isn't my responsibility to die for the sins of the world, I do take the responsibilities entrusted to me very seriously.

And it's worth every second I invest.




So the conclusion of this is...

(and please remember...anyone who happens across this online journal...I write to myself.)

...that everything costs something.

And what you pay had better be worth the price.

With one precious life to live I refuse to invest in vain pursuits.

Flimsy dreams.

Selfish desires.

I want...more than anything...to come to the end of my life and have Jesus say well-done.

Well done with your time.

Well done with your family.

Well done with your talents.

Well done with your finances.

Well done with your intellect.

Well done with your home and resources.

Well done with your loyalties.

Well done.

I'm trying very, very hard to hear those words.

And it's worth it to me.